Stedman creates situations and then relates them to "annoying ways that people write." And you are going to do the same thing for this blog. Using the format from Stedman's chapter, pull an example from your past experiences with writing to use as your situation to create your own version of "annoying ways that people write."
250-300 words. Engage with each other.
Due: Thursday, October 24, 2013 by class.
The Annoyances
ReplyDeleteShe’s My Camaraderie
We have been acquainted with each other’s presence for a mere seventeen years of our existence. We purchase goods together, attend the cinema, and create artistic designs on each other’s nails while the sun is present in the sky.
Geez that was hard to read. One time I read over my friend’s paper she had to write for class because she wanted my advice. Literally the entire paper had words I would need a dictionary to understand what it meant. I felt bad because apparently the paper was about our friendship, but it felt like a foreign language. When you use big words in your writing just to sound smarter, it usually doesn’t end up making any sense. Writing a “normal” sounding paper then going back and finding more intelligent-sounding, longer words to replace the basic words is not a way to approach writing papers. It doesn’t make you sound smarter. It makes you seem naïve to any correct structure or a flowing essay. Honestly I don’t understand your paper and it makes me want to stop reading now.
The Fix: Go with your instinct. Use words that you would use in your everyday conversation (adjusting to the genre specifically). Don’t over think it and assume that your audience won’t think you’re credible or smart because the words you use are less than 10 letters long and people can actually pronounce them. Seriously. My friend should’ve just said, “We’ve known each other since we were born and love going shopping, going to the movies, and painting our nails.” It actually makes sense and is easy to read. Trust me, your audience will appreciate it if you simplify a little.
Becky,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, that first sentence was really difficult to read. I was confused about every aspect of that sentence! I also agree with you when you talk about how people try to use big words to sound smarter.. it usually doesn't come across that way. Usually it just sounds confusing and you can tell that they're only trying to sound smart. Those both are really annoying ways people write, great examples!
I agree with you. I don't think that people who try to use big words in their writing will make them sound smarter. The capability of a writer depends much more on what ideas he states rather than what words he use. This showy but not practical trick will not make any advantage of the writing.
DeleteWhat’s my line again?
ReplyDelete“Wait!” Becky shouted at Gerard. “You can’t go in there!”
“Why not? Is it dangerous?”
“Well not really… But it’s forbidden!”
“But why? Do you know?”
“No. But I’m sure there’s a good reason.”
“Doubt it. You know people around here make up things all the time.”
“That’s not true and you know it!”
Right. Who else managed to get lost on who was speaking what during that? It bugs me when authors write a bunch of dialogue at the same time and never really make it clear who is talking. I always have to go back and reread things like that two or three times in order for me to understand who’s saying what. I understand the need to have conversations in papers and books. Nothing against that. But when I have to guess who is speaking at the time, I start to get annoyed. And an annoyed reader is not one that will keep reading for long.
The Fix: There’s a couple easy fixes for this. For one, you can add names in there at some point. It doesn’t have to be Becky said this then Gerard said this then Becky replied back saying this other thing. I’m not talking about that. But just simply making Gerard say Becky’s name in one of his sentences will do wonders. Or starting a sentence in the middle with Gerard said will work too. Another way would be to add details. What do the characters faces look like? Is Gerard looking skeptical about how forbidden whatever they are going into is? Is Becky running to catch up to him? Details will break up the dialogue and make sure the reader knows who is talking at the time.
I agree with you Francoise. This is another pet peeve I have, specifically when I am reading novels. There are some books that keep the dialogue between two people going for over a page and I completely lose track of who is saying what. I also think it helps when writers note a change in their expression with what they are saying. Like in your example, when Becky says "But it's forbidden!" a writer will say "But it's forbidden!" Becky yelled, exclaimed, shouted, gasped, etc. This indicates who is talking and the expression change.
DeleteI have the same annoyance with you. When I am reading a novel, I often cannot continue reading because I need to ensure I am on the right line. It will be more easier to catch up by using describe details to break up the dialogue because it will give more logical clues to distinguish the speaker.
DeleteThe sentence slaughter:
ReplyDeletewhen u walk in 2 a stor nd find de mlk... it s a gr8t day.
Sentences like the one above are my equivalent to Stedman’s Armadillo Road kill. It’s surprising that anyone can even read what this says, yet sentences like the one above are used to communicate all the time. Thankfully the human brain is smart enough to compensate for the missing letters here, but nonetheless this sentence is a challenge to read.
I’m really not sure why people write like this, but it annoys me. What’s even worse is when people with an education write like this. People act like it would take them an extra hour to insert the remaining letters, capitalize the first letter, and take out the numbers. In all reality, it would take only a mere couple of seconds to correct the errors in this sentence. When people write, txt or whatever form of communication they are using, it makes it seem as if they lack an education and the knowledge of spelling simple English words. If you don’t know how to spell, then this could be the most effective way for you to communicate and that’s fine. But for those who have and education of even a 5th grade level, should realize the letters in the alphabet aren’t dying off, they are all still there willing to be used in anyone’s sentence. Seeing educated and intelligent people diminish their potential by even texting something like this, it just makes you look simple minded.
The Fix:
Take the time to write properly, even in informal writing such as texts and tweets. It only takes a few extra sentences to communicate clearly with all the letters that belong in a sentence. Adding the right amount of letters will also show the world that you are intelligent, smart, and willing to put the extra effort into your writing.
I am so agree with you and hopefully everyone will follow your adice. I think people get into the habit of writing this way and firstly, it's annoying for readers secondly, they are losing their spelling skills and thirdly they are more likely to be misunderstood by their audience. I experienced the latter during my first month here in US. It was pretty challenging to understand text even though in good english so, imagine how it was challenging when letters were missing.
Delete“O, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
ReplyDeleteShe is the fairies' midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate-stone
On the fore-finger of an alderman,” (1)
The two sides of a non-vertical fault are known as the hanging wall and footwall” (2)
I would love to start my blog with Shakespeare’s Quotes. As Stedman mentioned that the fundamental of rhetoric is that the writer creates the work based on what they want to do. However, not everyone would be able to understand or follow writer’s logic. I do not enjoy reading any of his works because I didn’t live in the same era as he did. My English education isn’t high enough to understand his content neither. However, I still have to deal with it. It’s annoying to me.
Here is the few solution that I came up with:
(First, fix at the reader) In order to understand Shakespeare’s, it is important for audience to study his terminologies and language. There is always exception to every rule. Shakespeare is one of them. Audience have to realize their black ground knowledge because sometime the author “think this is the best way for their writing or this is their goal of writing.” Not all of the writer publish their work for sale, they just want to express their feeling throughout words. However, in case of Shakespeare, he wrote his work way before the formal, or the platform of modern English created. His works has been around forever and have too much influence to “fix”
By the way, thanks to No Fear Shakespeare and Sparknotes.com that translate all of his works. Without their works, I would able to finish my High School.
As you can see from the second quote, it is technical words. It is hard to understand when the author assume that we know “what he knows.” It is same thing that the author introduces the alien language to the audience. For example “อยากอาหาร,” you guys provably have no idea what I mean. อยากอาหาร means I want food.
How to fix this?
For the public writing, the writer has to assume that everyone have little knowledge about his/her work. Therefore, if the author introduced the uncommon terminology, he/she better explain that terms well. However, they is always an exception to that (like Shakespeare’s work.)
Gum Chewing
ReplyDeleteMy friend is really very awesome. He is so awesome because he is extremely good at wakeboarding. I can’t even describe how especially awesome he is. Wow, he is rather awesome.
I did exaggerate a bit when it comes to this pet peeve of mine, but I have seen people write like this. I call this the “gum chewing” because it involves repetition, similar to how if somebody chews the same piece of gum for eight hours it annoys you. The first is the writer abusing sub-modifiers, like really, very, extremely, rather, etc. It doesn’t bother me when a writer uses these words, but when they are used to modify almost every adjective in every sentence it becomes ridiculous. The second is when the writer refuses to use a variety of words. In my example, this word is “awesome.” I used it in each of the four sentences in my annoying paragraph. Repeating the same word over and over makes the sentences boring and also makes the reader lose interest quicker. It is not attractive writing.
The Fix:
Fixing the overuse of sub-modifiers is easy. If you use sub-modifiers too often, they lose their purpose of emphasis. Identifying which parts of your writing are more “eye-popping” then the others can help you decide where to place the emphasis words. However, in formal writing, it is better to not use them.
Likewise, fixing the repetition of the same word is easy. That is why it annoys me so much. First, “awesome” is a word that can be replaced with about 50 other words, like incredible, cool, amazing, great, etc. Second, if you don’t know a lot of words, start using a thesaurus. Don’t overuse it; this could make your sentences sound pretentious and confusing like Becky stated earlier. But varying your word choice is necessary for engaging writing. Using a thesaurus and dictionary will also help improve your reading comprehension as well as your writing skills.
I agree that reading a passage with many sub-modifers can be quite tiring and annoying. Reading the same words over and over again to describe a person or situation can lose my, and I'm sure many other reader's, interest very quickly. It does not flow nicely nor does it sound very intelligent repeating the same description words. I agree that varied word choice is important in writing so that the reader can easily and enjoyably read the piece of writing.
DeleteThis problem occurs to people who have the limitation to their knowledge. I’m facing with this type of problem all the times. I’m sorry Sam. Hopefully I made some progress over this course. I was just kidding. Seriously, ESL students struggle with words choice due to their limitation. As long as you have the desire to improve yourself, you will eventually become a better writer. Same thing couldn’t apply to the native writers and native speakers. They being lazy and careless about the subjects. I know they could do better, but they just disobey to do so.
DeleteThat is one of my big pet peeves as well. Reading the same word four times in the span of two sentences is sure to drive anyone mad. A variety of words is essential in order for any piece of work to be interesting and well, readable. Repetition gets tiresome very quickly, and is a great way to get rid of any readers the author might of had.
DeleteThe Generalizer
ReplyDelete“I was very happy when I got home. It was one of the worst dates I had ever been on. I could not think of another time where I had been so unpleased. I never want to be in another situation like that again.”
When people use clichés and over dramatizations in their writing, I tend to become a little annoyed. First of all, using the phrase “one of the worst dates” does not make much sense. How many worst dates could you have been on? In reality, the date was probably not the worst you will ever experience, but there is no way to know because the date was never explained to the reader, but rather the reader is just told how it was. Second, saying “I never want to be in another situation like that again” gives the reader plenty of room to infer what happened. Without any explanation, it is hard to form an opinion on whether or not the reader agrees.
Word choice is very important when trying to relay a situation to the reader. Using extremes in writing such as “the best” and “the worst” is also very general and does not actually explain why it was the best or worst. Instead of painting a picture for the reader, the author is only telling.
The Fix:
By describing events in the date that made it unpleasant, the reader should be able to infer that it was not an enjoyable date. For example, by stating that “my date spilled his drink on me and then proceeded to say he forgot his wallet at home”- that would infer to the reader that the date was not very ideal. Instead of simply stating that it was bad, the writer should attempt to recreate the situation for the reader, almost like painting a picture of the date to infer a good or bad time.
“She’s was going into the house and the most important thing of her life was ready to happen but she didn’t know it yet. The house was very tall with a beautiful dark roof. The trees and the garden outside were colorful, a lot a rabbits and squirrels were running in the lawn of the neighborhood [… 1 page of detailed description] she rang unknown’s doorbell and finally met his father for the first time at 56 years old.”
ReplyDeleteI like suspense and I would not criticize writers who keep their audience in suspense with some detailed description but as a reader, too much description is very annoying. I feel that the writer can grow the suspense at his maximum but then, as the description lasts, the suspense decreases and ultimately we get the ending when there is no more expectation. Furthermore, readers are more likely to skim through a long description and don’t read it carefully because they can’t wait the ending of the story. This latter is the main purpose of the audience thus if nothing happens in the story during several pages, the reader gets annoyed, or at least I get annoyed.
The fix: I believe that description allows to set the scene and it’s essential in writing but the writer have to find the right balance between description and move forward in the story. Therefore the reader is kept in suspense with the story and can enjoy the details of the scene as well.
The right balance is essential in writing. I mentioned that I do not really enjoy Shakespeare. Part of it was that his work was too much description and I lost the focus of the story. Not only it bored me, it does make me confused. It is very hard to find the right combination of tastes. It also depends on the audience’s preference.
DeleteSnarled wires
ReplyDeleteYou probably had the experience that deal with snarled wires. Untangling wires can be a headache problem. You can only get a little accomplishment, but you need to put in lots of efforts. It will not make anyone happy to do this inefficient work.
This is just like you are reading an essay that so wordy that you need to carefully pick up useful information. Readers get the feeling that they are losing patience to push themselves to be concentrated on the reading.
Here is an example about what I am talking about:
In my opinion, writing is the most significant skill one can have while proceeding to get a great college performance and acquire knowledge to use later on in the future.
Do you feel empty and wordy about this sentence? This sentence makes reader irritable, and suspect if the author knows the conventions of writing or not.
The Fix: in the majority of situations, readers appreciate to grab the essential information right away. Readers are pleasure to effectively and breezily absorb information. Therefore, the high concentration of information is a great way to make readers keep reading. To make the information more efficiently, just simply write it like this:
In my opinion, writing is the most significant skill both for getting a great college performance and for whatever comes subsequently.
In this revision, I clearly understand what the author is trying to say. I do not need to do extra work, but just to get information.
Uncle Barry and His Encyclopedia of Useless Information
ReplyDeleteQuotes on quotes on quotes. You probably know someone like this or have done this yourself; a lot of information, and you are impressed they(or you) know so much, but none of it makes sense because these quotes and facts are completely unrelated to each other because you have not time to sufficiently explain them. Useless facts are just pouring out. However, this can be fixed very simply. Let me give you an example
"Recent ecological findings show that the earth's crust is slowly deteriorating due to human action." Scientist Henry Miller has found such findings to be false,"The crust is made up of very strong materials which protect use from the superheated core."
Ok, this isn't true in any way, but the point I am trying to make is that though both quotes are in regards to the Earth's crust, yet they have absolutely nothing to do with each other, in fact it contradicts the first quote--which would be good if you're trying to disprove such an absurd fact as the deterioration of the crust.
Let's fix it up a bit.
Some scientists argue that, "the earth's crust is slowly deteriorating due to human action." However such findings are not very heavily supported in the scientific community, given the pre-existing knowledge that the Earth's crust is on a cycle that is constantly replenishing itself. Leading crust expert, Henry Miller, argues, "The crust is made up of very strong materials which protect use from the superheated core," a fact which most scientists agree with.
Hey it makes a little bit more sense now! The trick to not having empty quotes is by taking time to explain them. Put your own insight into analyzing the words of another--a few extra seconds of writing make a huge difference in the long run.
Useless information
ReplyDeleteJohn was walking through the park. He saw a couple of birds in he air, the trees were turning a beautiful golden brown and yellow. There were 5 children playing on the swing set that was built in the 1970’s. He like to swing when he was a kid, but got hurt and broke his arm. Then, he ran into Sarah and talked to her about their relationship.
I understand that some descriptions are needed when writing to describe a scene, but I don’t think I need to know he played on the swing set. I don’t like when writers ramble on about useless information for a scene. It is too descriptive in my opinion. There are authors that like to describe items and scenes in detail and I get that helps set the scene for the reader or audience, but I think sometimes they use useless information. I don’t care that the swing set was built in 1970’s, but maybe I do care about he broke his arm.
The fix: write to get to the point. Get enough description to set the scene, but do not ramble on about the setting. When you’re writing, just get to the point in your descriptions. If it is an important scene or item I like when its descriptive, but if its not important to the story there is no need to tell me every detail about a coffee pot in the corner of the room.
Constant Repetition:
ReplyDeleteWhen people constantly say the same thing over and over again., I find it extremely irritating. I myself an often a culprit of this. Particularly prior to extensive editing, I tend to have the same sentence repeated two or three times over the course of a paragraph. I find it extremely irritating when this happens, with the same kinds of words and phrases repeating over and over again. It's even more annoying because I do it so frequently myself.
See, now wasn't that annoying? Using a self-demonstrating paragraph like that feels weird, even though I now how much I can do it. In the end, the simplest way to fix this is to go back and revise what you've written. This can let you edit out the repeated portions of your work, or alter them in such a way as to avoid the constant repetition. Reading back over your work is important for this, because you'll rarely notice this issue as you're writing. It's not to hard to fix, since the issue will be immediately obvious.
Valley Girl Talk
ReplyDeleteLike oh my god Becky, Look at her butt. She was totally jelly at my heels the other day. Hash Tag Yolo!
I understand that people who write this way are trying to be part of a fad, but that's really all it is, a fad. It's more than just a style, it's a virus. This form of rhetoric spreads like wildfire through certain communities forming it's own dialect of the English Language.
The Fix:
To fix this dialect, practice of traditional English language is necessary. Studying up on grammar conventions and common grammar are the best way to correct the Valley Girl way of writing. They are used to their community's way of rhetoric, but it detaches them from the rest of the discourse community.